Back to Black

It didn’t take long for you to pull me from a state of bliss with your cloud of doubt. "I just want to be sure" he said as he tried to justify the need for a paternity test on a child I knew was his. He had been singing the DNA test song since the day I turned 18 weeks pregnant as if my word alone wasn’t enough. As if a piece of paper would somehow make everything alright. Somehow he managed to make it seem as if it was the key that would some how restart this car that we were now both trapped in. I knew that although this was far from something I felt was necessary, it had to be done. I knew that despite my feelings and reluctance that he would not rest until he had those results, so I went. I took my week old infant out into the open during a pandemic to seek rest.

Hours before the appointment I got a phone call from the agency explaining the do’s and don’ts concerning this matter. She instructed me to keep from breastfeeding so that the results were as accurate as possible. Suddenly a light bulb went of in my mind and I was now contemplating every way possible to attain a negative reading. He didn’t want to he his father anyway and I had been miserable long enough. I just knew that this would be my ticket to freedom. The thing that would push us to go our separate ways for good. That’s what society does to women. Makes them feel so low while uplifting the very same men who put them in these predicaments. I was so angry with myself and the world that I was ready to risk it all in hopes of being left alone.

I read every single article on the effects of breastmilk on a swab test. How the DNA from the milk coats the interior of an infants mouth for at least 30 minutes following a feeding causing the DNA picked up on the swab to be the mothers rather than the child‘s. Right as I was about to latch my son onto my breast the spirit of conviction spoke to me. It reminded me that my own selfish motives were no reason to keep my child from his father. No matter how o felt toward him. No matter how I felt he may have felt toward me. I quickly put my breast away and went into the building where I waited for them to call his name.

"Carter Salomon"

Anxiously,

Daph The Con-Artist