Cancer Cells

"We need to talk". These four words alone were enough to cause an immediate relapse. It became apparent that I never found a cure for you, I was simply in a state of remission. Suddenly I found myself taking two steps back after struggling to move one step forward. And was it worth it? Of course not. Yet there I sat in your lap listening to your every word as if it held any meaning. As if for a moment I believed that you actually meant what you said. I let you go on and on about how you wanted to be there and how I was "stuck" with you for a lifetime. About how you expected me to allow you to be the father you knew you could be and how you were unsure of everything else but the fact that you wanted a relationship with the being dwelling inside me.

Being trapped under your body heat quickly disengaged my internal control mechanism, in turn allowing each and every dormant cancer cell to come alive. The more I sat, the more a piece of me died. You were spreading uncontrollably, taking over every unaffected organ I had left. As I tip toed into the fourth stage of your disease a few of my blood cells decided to fight back. Awakened by the word "take", I quickly snapped out of this daze. "Take!?!?! and go where?!?!" Although your wondrous skills of persuasion were undeniable, hell would freeze before I agreed to let you take my baby. I'd be damned if my own flesh and blood called another woman "mommy". Amazing isn't it? How a simple trigger can put us into survival mode...

My subconscious refused to let you take control. She refused to let you have your way with me and although it became hard to believe, this would not be the death of me. No matter how strong your grip, I will always slip through your fingers. She knew I would soon become another survivor battling my way through your distress. I pray for the day where I can finally say that I have rid myself of your cancerous ways.

Battling Remission,

Daph the Survivor