Hard Labor pt. 2

”Would you like to meet your baby this morning" the nurse said as I hastily fastened my sandals. "Yes, of course!" I exclaimed with absolutely no hesitation. "Alrighty than, well have you up in labor and delivery in just a few minutes". Wait WHAT!?! Labor and delivery? I was shook. When you’re that far along people ask you if you’re ready to meet your baby almost every 30 seconds. Never did I imagine that she would literally mean that I was just a few hours away from holding the love of my life in my bare arms. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. This can’t be good. What did they see on that ultrasound screen? Why are they so willing to induce me?

"Now, there’s no need to panic". The line every doctor uses just prior to delivering a message that was sure to cause panic. He quickly explained to me that my little lifeline failed his ultrasound screening. His breathing was off and his heartbeat was faint. He wasn't in critical condition but our best bet was to take my bun out of the oven before it was too late. I called my mother, gave her the update, and said a quick little prayer. All it took was a ride in the elevator up to the 4th floor and a short walk to the labor and delivery wing for my water to break and the contractors to start kicking in. I was now 4 centimeters dilated without any help from labor inducing medications. Carter was coming and he was coming quickly.

For the next few hours I sat in the room all by my lonesome debating whether or not I should call anyone else. I was still in so much shock that the thought of being in labor still seemed like a dream to me. Merely a figment of my imagination. I finally decided to send out a few more text message only to receive one of the greatest let downs of the day. I’d be alone. In a moment of pure fear, a promise made to me had yet again been broken. Each time a new physician came in the room they‘d ask "Is your birthing partner on their way?" and my heart broke a little each time I heard the words. I shamefully shook my head no and turned over to face the wall.

After being stuck at 9 centimeters dilated for three hours I was finally given the news that an emergency C section was my only option. I had developed an infection giving me a high fever, Carter’s umbil chord was wrapped around his neck, and preeclampsia began to take over me. All I had left to look forward to was my mother being allowed in to the procedure room with me and finally getting to hold my baby. I cried. This isn’t at all what I had imagined this moment to be like. I waited months for this to be the most amazing moment in my life and at the moment it felt like everything but that. After a failed attempt at numbing my lower body the plans had changed once again. My mom could no longer come in with me since I was being put to sleep. "When you wake up we’ll put him right in your arms". That was the last thing I heard before falling into a deep slumber.

With Z’s ,

Daph the sleep beauty.