Question of the week

The other day I was looking for a piece of information and instead of asking him about it for the thousandth time, I decided to type a key word into the search bar of my messages in hopes of finding the answer to my own question. Little did I know this one word would open up a can of emotions I forgot ever existed. A phase of "ups" that seems to have faded away from my memories.

It was like reading your favorite book for the first time, once you start you can’t stop. It was as if I was there in the bedroom of my Tallahassee apartment reading these text for the first time. As if I was taken back through time and found my self sitting in the drivers seat of this black Nissan Altima waiting for him to meet me on his lunch break. I went from 2022 to 2019 in a matter of minuets.

One key word let to another and what confuses me the most is that the very feeling I got from this trip to the past is the very feeling I’ve been questioning him about these last few days. Was this life’s way of reminding me what is and what isn’t? Was this the answer to the question my subconscious longed for? Was this the affirmation he struggled to make clear to me?

For some reason while I should be happy to be reminded of how things used to be, it raises more questions for me. Is this a sign to find our way back or to keep moving forward without a hardened heart? Is this the type of memory that gives us hope?

Confused,

Daph