To good to be true...

Ever feel like something is just to good to be true? Like getting comfortable with where you are in life is extremely unsafe? Well that's where I am now. I've always been a person who expects the worse. Someone who feels as if in order to save myself I must learn that good things aren't always given to good people. I've taught myself not to overlook patterns and I constantly remind myself that when someone shows you who they are the first time, its best to believe them. So here I am today after four days of smooth sailing, having a serious anxiety attack. I've balled up in a corner in my room waiting for something to disrupt my peace. Waiting for a storm to come because this calm has lasted way to long. Waiting for the "I told you so".

Four hours I've prayed that I'd disappear only to find that I'm not even sure of what it is that I'm trying to escape. I'm not even sure that what I'm anticipating is real or just a figment of my imagination. All I know is that its coming. It has to be. There's no way the course of my life has changed this much over night. It can't be that simple. Such transformation is unbelievable. Unfathomable even. So until it comes, I'll prepare. I continue to keep my guard up and yes! That is in fact a terrible way to live. But with luck like mine, happiness is far to good to be true.

Anxiously,

Daph the Skeptic